As time passes, I find myself accustomed to solitude. It's the silence and comfort which I don't adore back then or perhaps haven't been able to appreciate. But, right now, being able to take a moment out of the crowd, out of the bustling college has been a pleasure. Sipping a cuppa in the comfiest tee, and reading or surfing the web while listening to my playlist is a leisure. It's an irreplaceable feeling.
When I finally had the time to catch up with my all time soul sister, we both totally agree that we need moment like these the most. Not to the extend of confining ourselves to four walls all day all night, it's just some time off for ourselves. No dealing with people which we are tired of, no giving in to little things and no broken heart. Why not?
Scurrying home after classes doesn't seem impressive. But, that's the way we roll.
Times like these have been really tiring and stressful. Having a tight schedule is no doubt exhausting. I doubt if anyone has not heard of "work hard, play hard". Oh well, play?! Not really. No way maybe. Welcome to the real world.
Haven't had a single thought of heading to whatever cool place like nightclubs for clubbing, nor to hang out at mamak till late nights. Sorry, these are not my kind of things.
I'm way more comfortable to have a book and lie on the lounge.
Call me a bookworm or lifeless? Mind you, you haven't known me long enough. Be judgmental if you like.
Just like how you can't force an adolescent to wear an infant's clothing, I enjoy being myself. Even if I have changed, I enjoy being who I am today, and in the years to come.
Positive thoughts are churning, negativity will be on its way to the past. It's for the better days to come afterall.
Not to forget, my university applications are all nailed, finally! *opening a champagne* (even if I don't touch alcohol haha) With a burden of the shoulder, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a reply or an acceptance letter, pleaseeee.
Signing off, Mish. Till then.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Friday, October 23, 2015
When you fall in love
Disclaimer: This is my point of view. I have no other intentions.
Falling in love has to be one of the best feelings you'll ever come across.
You stumble upon your other half through fate and destiny, in high school, college, university or in any part of the world, of different background, distinct personalities. It may also be a long-distance due to many unpredictable circumstances. He or she is equivalent to your family and your best friends, or you may unknowingly prioritize your relationship over your loved one.
You thought he/she means the world to you.
It took me lots of courage to get back up. The transition period from switching your life consisting of the both of the best to only yours is perhaps, one of the most difficult change you will have to make. You have loved someone for a reason, or maybe none. It doesn't really matter. When love sparks, you'll get along with each other. You take the extra miles to understand one another, tolerate and bring the best out of he/she. Similarly, your other half will make the effort to do the same to you. The greatest gift is you have had a special one in your life; a helping hand, a loyal support, a confidante, a shoulder to lean on and most of all, a warmth of love and care. Mysteriously, you fall for him/her more and more.
Sometimes, you wonder of how you will be building your future together with your other half. You will be pulling through all that it needs to lead both of you to walk down the aisle, hand in hand. Challenges make you two grow as one; you look beyond the difficulties which you are facing because you know, it's worth persevering. When you are forced to start a long-distance, you have no other options, but to hold on to it temporarily, for you both know, it takes a little more time for you to reunite. Love makes you a stronger person.
When you are torn apart on one fine (not so) day, you take a step back and reminisce all the bittersweet memories which you both share. You become braver day by day; there's no longer someone who will be comforting you when you have the worst days, no longer someone who will make sure you get back on track after you fell. It turns out to be you, as who you are. After much struggle, you learn how to cope and to be a better person, one who he/she will be regret of letting go or for not appreciating. Tears shed, but the next day will be a brighter day.
For all that it takes to walk through the past six months, it's tough, it's heart-shattering. I fell and fell for countless times, and I still do. I felt as if I am in a loom of darkness. I felt the urge to be impulsive. But, never forget that it's not an end but a starting point in the relay of your life. You will meet many, many angels who are like the silver lining to your cloud. They are there for a reason, for you to strive for your future.
Nevertheless, be who you want to be, who you should be and who you are worth to be. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you must never change for the worse.
Falling in love has to be one of the best feelings you'll ever come across.
You stumble upon your other half through fate and destiny, in high school, college, university or in any part of the world, of different background, distinct personalities. It may also be a long-distance due to many unpredictable circumstances. He or she is equivalent to your family and your best friends, or you may unknowingly prioritize your relationship over your loved one.
You thought he/she means the world to you.
It took me lots of courage to get back up. The transition period from switching your life consisting of the both of the best to only yours is perhaps, one of the most difficult change you will have to make. You have loved someone for a reason, or maybe none. It doesn't really matter. When love sparks, you'll get along with each other. You take the extra miles to understand one another, tolerate and bring the best out of he/she. Similarly, your other half will make the effort to do the same to you. The greatest gift is you have had a special one in your life; a helping hand, a loyal support, a confidante, a shoulder to lean on and most of all, a warmth of love and care. Mysteriously, you fall for him/her more and more.
Sometimes, you wonder of how you will be building your future together with your other half. You will be pulling through all that it needs to lead both of you to walk down the aisle, hand in hand. Challenges make you two grow as one; you look beyond the difficulties which you are facing because you know, it's worth persevering. When you are forced to start a long-distance, you have no other options, but to hold on to it temporarily, for you both know, it takes a little more time for you to reunite. Love makes you a stronger person.
When you are torn apart on one fine (not so) day, you take a step back and reminisce all the bittersweet memories which you both share. You become braver day by day; there's no longer someone who will be comforting you when you have the worst days, no longer someone who will make sure you get back on track after you fell. It turns out to be you, as who you are. After much struggle, you learn how to cope and to be a better person, one who he/she will be regret of letting go or for not appreciating. Tears shed, but the next day will be a brighter day.
For all that it takes to walk through the past six months, it's tough, it's heart-shattering. I fell and fell for countless times, and I still do. I felt as if I am in a loom of darkness. I felt the urge to be impulsive. But, never forget that it's not an end but a starting point in the relay of your life. You will meet many, many angels who are like the silver lining to your cloud. They are there for a reason, for you to strive for your future.
Nevertheless, be who you want to be, who you should be and who you are worth to be. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you must never change for the worse.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
沉淀
回首望去，再煎熬的都跨过了，所剩的的确不再那么漫长。我知道倘若我真的放手—搏也不会落入谷底。但是，选择了坚持，再艰难还是得咬紧牙根走下去。
不要再让串珠的泪水淌下，
别再失去微笑的理由，
勿再俳徊在逝去的岁月。
坚强着，把对未来的憧憬和壮志当成精神上的寄托。
相信，雨后的彩虹会是更艳丽。
梦想，只是在转角处。
Saturday, October 3, 2015
为梦想加油
每一个人都会曾经拥有过一段故事。我也不例外。
每一会锁住荧幕上的《星光大道》， 免不了的是一回回的感动，是种说不起又嵌入心中的滋味。选手们都把战场当成了他们表演的舞台，把本身的故事唱处来，我深深体会到他们所要传达的情感和经历。
曾经，我也是个爱上舞台的孩子。罕有地说起这一段故事，我会默默地踏上了时光隧道。
当时还在小学稚气的岁月，我最向往的是能够站上舞台。是一种既紧张，又有成就感，又开心的一刹那。曾经，是个爱表演的孩子——唱歌，演讲，诗歌朗诵，讲故事，我一一尝试过。说不起是什么鼎鼎大名的选手或表演者，我享受的是那种苦涩又值得回忆的过程。手上领着奖杯的时候给予我的是无限的肯定。家中摆满的奖杯不再像昔日般的闪烁，但每一回凝视着它们心中有的不只是回忆，更深厚的是骄傲。
谈起音乐，我总是擦肩而过。我爱上的是歌曲的旋律，歌词的故事，还有那无界的乐坛。还有，能够自由地玩起乐器，自弹自唱。然而，我失去的是好多的机会。长大以来，我一直都很想玩音乐，哼起歌来，做个享受音乐的孩子，但都没机会去学。有的是短短地玩起了潮州儒乐，虽然看不懂乐谱，一窍不通地玩起了音乐，还是无比的感动。很无奈地，因为一段令我很失落的小插曲，我失去了表演和继续学音乐的机会。
说起来，十八岁了，我还是守住了我隐藏着的艺术细胞。爱唱歌，爱舞蹈，爱的是能够诠释自己的机会。我渴望的是有一天，在我追梦的旅途中，能玩起音乐，开启生命中新的篇章。
梦，固然遥远，但跌跌撞撞过了一段日子之后，可能依然有那种感觉，但只有我自己会知道，当自己日后说起这一段故事，是一段连自己也被感动的日子。
每一会锁住荧幕上的《星光大道》， 免不了的是一回回的感动，是种说不起又嵌入心中的滋味。选手们都把战场当成了他们表演的舞台，把本身的故事唱处来，我深深体会到他们所要传达的情感和经历。
曾经，我也是个爱上舞台的孩子。罕有地说起这一段故事，我会默默地踏上了时光隧道。
当时还在小学稚气的岁月，我最向往的是能够站上舞台。是一种既紧张，又有成就感，又开心的一刹那。曾经，是个爱表演的孩子——唱歌，演讲，诗歌朗诵，讲故事，我一一尝试过。说不起是什么鼎鼎大名的选手或表演者，我享受的是那种苦涩又值得回忆的过程。手上领着奖杯的时候给予我的是无限的肯定。家中摆满的奖杯不再像昔日般的闪烁，但每一回凝视着它们心中有的不只是回忆，更深厚的是骄傲。
谈起音乐，我总是擦肩而过。我爱上的是歌曲的旋律，歌词的故事，还有那无界的乐坛。还有，能够自由地玩起乐器，自弹自唱。然而，我失去的是好多的机会。长大以来，我一直都很想玩音乐，哼起歌来，做个享受音乐的孩子，但都没机会去学。有的是短短地玩起了潮州儒乐，虽然看不懂乐谱，一窍不通地玩起了音乐，还是无比的感动。很无奈地，因为一段令我很失落的小插曲，我失去了表演和继续学音乐的机会。
说起来，十八岁了，我还是守住了我隐藏着的艺术细胞。爱唱歌，爱舞蹈，爱的是能够诠释自己的机会。我渴望的是有一天，在我追梦的旅途中，能玩起音乐，开启生命中新的篇章。
梦，固然遥远，但跌跌撞撞过了一段日子之后，可能依然有那种感觉，但只有我自己会知道，当自己日后说起这一段故事，是一段连自己也被感动的日子。
Monday, September 28, 2015
Believe all that you can
Dating back to one year, I was still the usual me who held high expectation on myself. I constantly told myself that I shouldn't let my parents, my teachers and my friends down. That was when I sat for SPM Trial. I could remember how frustration and disappointment pinned me down when I received unsatisfactory grades. Tears started to trickle as I grinned my teeth against each other, trying to hold the teardrops back. I made mistakes, I lost a couple of A+. Knowing how much effort I have put it and how crucial the results will be for my college scholarship application, the despair doubled. I had my forehead frowned and smile robbed away. But, I still remembered to remind myself that I should keep up with a smile. However, the stress tripled when teachers gave me their encouragement. I tried hard to not tear. I put on a strong front. That was also the point of time I got back into a relationship after the breakup. It was also a tough time I had struggling best of both world while coping with bottled up emotions as I realise that he was leaving for UK. That was how hard the time was for me.
Then, entering college, I fervently hope that things will get better. However, there comes the painstaking LDR, video calls at dawn, hours of text messaging and lots more. Those were memories that will etch forever, for being my first love. Days before our one year, my world was torn apart. One year anniversary means how much we have been through thick and thin, through argument, through breakup, through all the toughest and brightest days, but we fail to pull through it. I had my heart wrenched. Having prepared a video for nights, I could not hold back the tears as I knew it was the end to our relationship. It is near to impossible for us to hook back together. Knowing that the decision comes from him, I took no longer to respect his decision, for he has been my loved one. If it was the best and it was for the longest journey we can reach, I am glad we had been through it. Days were gloomy but "keep smiling, let them wonder how you are still smiling". I persevered to live the best of my life. Being single doesn't mean it's the end of my world.
"Hey little fighter, when life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow"
Blessed for this tough ride, I have grown with maturity. I have learnt to believe in myself. I have been strong for myself.
Friday, September 18, 2015
The norm of studying abroad
Up late, I took a step back and thought: what's so great of studying abroad? No doubt growing up with cousins and friends who studied in the UK, Australia and Hong Kong, I was always abuzzed with excitement and instantly decided that I should not lose race in this bandwagon. But, what's about it? Living a more 'contemporary' life? Enjoying the foreign culture?
Once, I was eager to set foot in a foreign land, be it the Great Britain or the Asian jam-packed Australia. I have been wanting to leap out of my home country. I anticipated to embrace a new beginning, with the prospect of living independently. I thought that I should graduate with a degree from a renowned university and secure a better job opportunity. These are all that I (or we) are accustomed to. We pulled through more than 15 schooling years, graduate from university, get a degree and enter the working world. It's more than a typical scenario in any part of the world, if we are blessed with a fairly comfortable and financially-stable life.
I'm not to deny any of the incredibly essential plus points of gaining a wider exposure. There are so much to offer out there. If I am given the opportunity, I will seize it without holding back. Despite of obscurities, I will give my best shot for the upcoming examination.
From a different perspective, I bound to realize leaving home is analogy to stepping out of your comfort zone. The experience of studying abroad does not come with a snap of my fingertips; only hard work pays off. Having given the opportunity, anyone of us should not take it for granted, nor to turn snobbish. It's just money which matters your personality and attitude. Chasing after bewildering dreams, friends and family who have been your pillar of support must not be forgotten. They were your confidante and your loved one.
Till then. Gambateh!
Once, I was eager to set foot in a foreign land, be it the Great Britain or the Asian jam-packed Australia. I have been wanting to leap out of my home country. I anticipated to embrace a new beginning, with the prospect of living independently. I thought that I should graduate with a degree from a renowned university and secure a better job opportunity. These are all that I (or we) are accustomed to. We pulled through more than 15 schooling years, graduate from university, get a degree and enter the working world. It's more than a typical scenario in any part of the world, if we are blessed with a fairly comfortable and financially-stable life.
I'm not to deny any of the incredibly essential plus points of gaining a wider exposure. There are so much to offer out there. If I am given the opportunity, I will seize it without holding back. Despite of obscurities, I will give my best shot for the upcoming examination.
From a different perspective, I bound to realize leaving home is analogy to stepping out of your comfort zone. The experience of studying abroad does not come with a snap of my fingertips; only hard work pays off. Having given the opportunity, anyone of us should not take it for granted, nor to turn snobbish. It's just money which matters your personality and attitude. Chasing after bewildering dreams, friends and family who have been your pillar of support must not be forgotten. They were your confidante and your loved one.
Till then. Gambateh!
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
One step at a time
Just completed Mock Exam last week, time is still ticking off, with less than a month to actual AS Exam. How time has flown by. It feels that I graduated from high school not long ago. Well, I have to keep moving forward, with positivity.
I manage to catch up with some of my high school teachers when I dropped by to seek their help for university application. Words I received from them warmed my heart, as always. To cite a few, my Mandarin teacher who has been teaching me for four years saw the maturity in me although I have only left for college for eight months. When she knew what had happened to me, she never fails to give her words of encouragement to me. Angels like her gives me the strength to pick myself up. To not dwell in the past, it's time for me to paint my future and quench my thirst in chasing my dreams. I may have been in wanderlust but regardless of others' perception about my dreams, I have a clear view of what I'm up to, what I'm to achieve in the years to come.
Indeed, it's not an easy attempt for me to reach higher goals and tick off my bucket list. One at a time, I believe I'm one step nearer to climb up to the peak where I reap what I have sowed.
I manage to catch up with some of my high school teachers when I dropped by to seek their help for university application. Words I received from them warmed my heart, as always. To cite a few, my Mandarin teacher who has been teaching me for four years saw the maturity in me although I have only left for college for eight months. When she knew what had happened to me, she never fails to give her words of encouragement to me. Angels like her gives me the strength to pick myself up. To not dwell in the past, it's time for me to paint my future and quench my thirst in chasing my dreams. I may have been in wanderlust but regardless of others' perception about my dreams, I have a clear view of what I'm up to, what I'm to achieve in the years to come.
Indeed, it's not an easy attempt for me to reach higher goals and tick off my bucket list. One at a time, I believe I'm one step nearer to climb up to the peak where I reap what I have sowed.
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