Few days back, I have been wanting to blog on how well 2013 has treated me but what happened ytd and today have totally changed my perception towards this brand new year.
Turning into form four has been challenging. With ten subjects to manage including three sciences and two maths which may be pretty new to me, I find it quite hard to cope. Going to tuitions and school activities every single day are really tiring, at one point I really feel like giving up. Fortunately, I has the will and determination to carry on and get through all these hurdles. I'm pretty glad that I manage to get through them and still shine with my results although this is only the start if the year. I give myself the hope that this is a good start for my academic but I still need to put in lots more effort if I want to have great acheivements.
Secondly, co-curiculum activities have been also part of my life ever since I stepped into high school. If only you had known me well, I am those type who will practically put in all my effort and try my very best in anything I involve in. If I'm given a task or and even a minor post, I will do my best to avoid any disappointment. Honestly, I can admit that I'm nearly a perfectionist.
What happened ytd was indeed frustrating yet disappointing. Looking at my state camp results, I nearly have to urge to just shut the computer down and looking at it anymore. It has been my second year failing the knowledge of the order. No matter how much effort I have put in, I still fail the paper. I choose not to believe my eyes. I has thought of giving up this time but you know how hard it is to get through state camp. It doesnt worth giving up this year. I have gained a lot through camps since form one, from team spirit to independence :)
Many people may think that it is just something minor to acheive probadges, but to me, if I want to do it, I will do my best. It has been always my dream to be awarded as a Grand Prior although it may not be possible. I believe that I wont have any regrets if only I have did my very best.
I know I'm babbling a lot of my personal stuff today, but just let me finish this very last part of my post today. Today hasnt treated me nice as usual although it is the last day of school and I'm going for camp tonight which I dont really look foward to with all these conflicts troubling me.
In the midst of having chinese class after school, I was called for a meeting with my seniors. Miss X brought up this problem which we have tried to settle, and our seniors started questioning us as if it was totally our fault. Like seriously, no one wants this to happen, it is just a waste of money but do they even think of why Miss X even try to intefere our job and making such a big mess out of this. And when Miss Y was asked why she has made the decision all by herself when Miss X contacted her, she could even give a blank face and gave proper answer after being questioned thrice. All of us in the same department were questioned, and I, doing so much preparation from checking prices for every single items to all the paperwork was of course the one to speak out. As if it seemed to be I'm the one who has made all these mess. I wasnt even told abt the budget and they insisted that they have told us. I have no choice but to keep quiet, it wasnt a good idea to deny what they have said but knowing we have overbudget, I have tried to make ammends but this seemed not to bring any good.
Sometimes I realised how realistic the outside world could be. Although you know that you are treated unfairly, you have no choice but to bare with these. The tons of effort you have put in and the late nights you have sacrificed to make everything a success are not realised. People tend not to look at your effort but how close your relationship you have with them or even what post you held. All these which I have been facing for four years in this school have made made me feel very sick of and tiring as well. I know these 'challenges' may motivate me to stay tough but sometimes to people tend to act over their boundaries and thus instilling hatred deep down in my heart.
No matter what had happened, life still goes on...
